Welcome to accountantjokes.co.uk. The home of the world’s funniest jokes about the world’s most serious profession – accountancy!

We have the world’s large selection of jokes, cartoons, funny stories and one-liners about accountants, auditors, tax advisers and every satan’s spawn of financial professional.

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We are adding new jokes and cartoons daily so check back regularly for new jokes, cartoons, funny stories and one-liners.

One Liners:

What do you call 100 accountants at the bottom of the ocean?

A good start.


How many accountants does it take to change a lightbulb?

How many can you afford?


How do you tell who the accountant is on an oil rig?

He is the one throwing bread to the helicopters.


What do you call an accountant with two brain cells?



How do you keep an accountant happy in her old age?

Tell her the joke when she is young.


Funny Stories:

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