Welcome to accountantjokes.co.uk. The home of the world’s funniest jokes about the world’s most serious profession – accountancy!

We have the world’s large selection of jokes, cartoons, funny stories and one-liners about accountants, auditors, tax advisers and every satan’s spawn of financial professional.

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We are adding new jokes and cartoons daily so check back regularly for new jokes, cartoons, funny stories and one-liners.

One Liners:

Two accountants were in a canoe on holiday. It was chilly so they lit a fire in the boat. The boat sank proving once again that you can’t have your kayak and heat it!

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There was an accountant who was late for work during a power failure because he got stuck on the escalator.

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Why would accountants make great astronauts?

They took up space in school.

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What do you call an accountant who practices birth control?

A humanitarian.

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Why do people take an instant dislike to accountants?

It saves time later on.

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Funny Stories:

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Cartoons:

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